I'm still trying to work through how much I want to keep the door open, and for whom, and for how long. And whether I'm willing to follow what I think is my Christian duty to keep it open.
Some relationships will survive despite my disappointment in the choices that the friend or relative made. Others I may choose to passively neglect--not closing the door, exactly, but not pursuing a healthy relationship, either.
And some I have considered breaking, with the possibility that the door MIGHT open in the future. The people in that category just seem unreachable with truth or reason because they chose to live in an information bubble that is impervious to anything that doesn't reinforce their tribalism. They think our difference of opinion is no big deal. Maybe breaking with them is the only way to get them to understand that, yes, it's actually a huge deal, and that I won't simply abandon my values just to get along.
While I've never been optimistic about betting on the better angels of our nature in this self-centered society, I've also never felt so strongly a sense that my neighbors have abandoned even a pretense to decency and traditional values. They could see the choices clearly, and they chose treating immigrants as "vermin," trashing the poor and marginalized, locking up political opponents, lying about basic facts, treating an attempted coup in 2021 as "a day of love," and more. I am an American, but I have never felt less like I want to continue to be one, even if there's nowhere else for me to go.
Thanks David. I would not be where I am unless someone had the balls to interact with me about hard subjects. Altruism (or, perceived altruism) seems to be gaining popularity, and while I will not mourn what has not been lost, many do feel grim loss at the moment. Many grieve; myself included. One huge thing I am struggling with is blaming a brother, friend, workmate, neighbor for perceived loss; to the point where I am frowned upon because I can (or, simply will) have a conversation with them. Grief is not linear, we do not all experience it at the same speed or velocity. I understand many people have put up boundaries right now, and I am not the judge of where they are at, or their circumstance. It's a frightening time, and in order for me to advocate for the marginalized, I have to be able to interact with anyone who might be able to make a difference. While hugely underqualified, I have been trying to not go all Professor Barnhardt (The Day The Earth Stood Still) in what perhaps many believe is just as frightening as a looming alien invasion. I have no answers, but I will not quit engaging, and that requires difficult and challenging discussions with all sorts of people. We have to have better, deeper, more grace-ridden conversations. I am not going to ever talk with Tommy Tuberville, but I will talk with my neighbor and workmates. That's all I got. Again, thanks.
Thank you! I think I'm up for attempting a conversation with just about anyone. This doesn't mean I'll have a drink or a meal with someone who's tried to get me fired. Grateful for your witness.
I love this and I love what Sarah Dark says especially!
I'm still trying to work through how much I want to keep the door open, and for whom, and for how long. And whether I'm willing to follow what I think is my Christian duty to keep it open.
Some relationships will survive despite my disappointment in the choices that the friend or relative made. Others I may choose to passively neglect--not closing the door, exactly, but not pursuing a healthy relationship, either.
And some I have considered breaking, with the possibility that the door MIGHT open in the future. The people in that category just seem unreachable with truth or reason because they chose to live in an information bubble that is impervious to anything that doesn't reinforce their tribalism. They think our difference of opinion is no big deal. Maybe breaking with them is the only way to get them to understand that, yes, it's actually a huge deal, and that I won't simply abandon my values just to get along.
While I've never been optimistic about betting on the better angels of our nature in this self-centered society, I've also never felt so strongly a sense that my neighbors have abandoned even a pretense to decency and traditional values. They could see the choices clearly, and they chose treating immigrants as "vermin," trashing the poor and marginalized, locking up political opponents, lying about basic facts, treating an attempted coup in 2021 as "a day of love," and more. I am an American, but I have never felt less like I want to continue to be one, even if there's nowhere else for me to go.
This is helpful as I determine how to handle Thanksgiving with family (they fit your third category). Good luck out there.
..."processing aloud the new horrors..." Yup. That's it. I've been using three words: "the coming outrages, horrors, and atrocities."
I’m very grateful for your words, for your sharing your process. I keep coming back to this newsletter.
Thanks David. I would not be where I am unless someone had the balls to interact with me about hard subjects. Altruism (or, perceived altruism) seems to be gaining popularity, and while I will not mourn what has not been lost, many do feel grim loss at the moment. Many grieve; myself included. One huge thing I am struggling with is blaming a brother, friend, workmate, neighbor for perceived loss; to the point where I am frowned upon because I can (or, simply will) have a conversation with them. Grief is not linear, we do not all experience it at the same speed or velocity. I understand many people have put up boundaries right now, and I am not the judge of where they are at, or their circumstance. It's a frightening time, and in order for me to advocate for the marginalized, I have to be able to interact with anyone who might be able to make a difference. While hugely underqualified, I have been trying to not go all Professor Barnhardt (The Day The Earth Stood Still) in what perhaps many believe is just as frightening as a looming alien invasion. I have no answers, but I will not quit engaging, and that requires difficult and challenging discussions with all sorts of people. We have to have better, deeper, more grace-ridden conversations. I am not going to ever talk with Tommy Tuberville, but I will talk with my neighbor and workmates. That's all I got. Again, thanks.
Thank you! I think I'm up for attempting a conversation with just about anyone. This doesn't mean I'll have a drink or a meal with someone who's tried to get me fired. Grateful for your witness.
That resonates.
As ever, thank you.
Thanks David. I appreciate reading what you have to say.